When I Chose To Be A Player in Life

Continuing to be a victim was never going to work out for the better

NW Spain Photo by Nat Fernández on Unsplash

Unbeknownst to me, at age 40, I had a significant ‘code error ‘ that needed to be fixed. Obviously, I was a late bloomer.

This is the story of that outpatient “procedure.”

In 1994, while living in Anchorage, Alaska, I went to work for an architectural products company.

Without too much detail, this company sold commercial building skylights, overhead doors, fire-rated doors, and numerous other components.

I was hired as an outside salesperson and project manager. This was my first foray into this industry. I had much to learn quickly to earn my keep.

Assuming the right attitude and aptitude, it will take you two to three years to claim you know your stuff. Being the only person in this role for this company, I was given a shorter timeframe. How about one year?

I found myself in over my head a few times and made some mistakes. Some of those failures cost the company sizeable amounts of money. These fails brought me unwelcome but deserved heat from management.

So, after a few of these boo-boos, the boss took me out to breakfast on a Saturday. Yes, it was an off day.

I’m positive it was for effect. And it was.

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We ordered breakfast, casually chit-chatted between bites, and finished. While sitting there with our second cup of Joe, the intended reason for the sit-down was revealed.

“Hey, RC, I like you and am pleased we hired you. You’re doing a good job, but.”

Folks, have you been around the patch long enough to understand what usually comes after the word but?

Up until that day, I had developed the unpleasant habit of occasionally blaming others for mistakes that I had made. That’s an unfortunate trait.

My boss reached into a notebook on the table’s edge, removed two 3 x 5 cards, and placed them in front of me.

One said, “Victim,” and the other said, “Player.”

These two simple words had a yet unknown meaning to me then. He sat for what seemed like a long time before he said this.

“My friend, life will deal you many cards. It will never be about the cards but how you play them.”

“Which card of the two in front of you will you choose?”

I looked at him; he studied me. I looked again at the cards. Not a word was spoken between us. This was a test.

I placed my hand on one of the cards and slid it across the table to him.

Again, without a word between us, he looked down at the card and said, “Good choice.” “Enjoy the rest of your weekend, see you Monday.”

I selected Player. And I have never looked back.

We will be ‘tested’ many times in our life. Some are subtle, and some scream for our attention.

What card will you choose for your life? One will bring you success; the other will doom you repeatedly.

Thanks for stopping by. 🙏

A version of this story was originally published on Medium in September 2023.